Deep Thoughts (Without Jack Handy)

I miss that segment. Along with the good old days of SNL. Those two thoughts are unrelated to the post.

According to this cool app I have on my phone, I'm going to have a baby in 7 weeks and 2 days. Doctors agree that's about the right amount of time, though it could be more or less, but that's not important. Point is, my life is going to change.

No more jumping in the car to get coffee without packing a diaper bag. No more running into the gas station to buy overpriced cigarettes (people frown on leaving a baby in your car while you shop). No more staying out all night or random weekend trips because I feel like it. All small sacrifices for what people keep telling me will be "the best thing I'll ever do in my life."

Let's focus on that statement for just a second. Really? Is this the best thing I'll *ever* do in my life? Because that seems a bit extreme, doesn't it? I knew a girl in high school that had two kids before she finally dropped out. Is that the best thing she ever did? I know it's a big deal, and it will change everything I know about life for the better, but I hope I have a bit more to contribute to society than producing a mini-me. Then again, she could be the savior of the free world, and in that case, I guess they're right.

My daughter, Kennedy, has a pretty good chance at being somewhat successful amongst her peers. I mean, my husband and I look around the waiting room at the preggo doctor's office, and we're pretty sure we're doing everyone a favor by combating the abundance of idiocracy being bred ten fold. I had a conversation with a co-worker who's brother has (count them) FIFTEEN children running around the Jacksonville area, while he is being lovingly cared for in a New York rehabilitation institution where he's not allowed outside for the next 7 - 10 years. Apparently, for every one child I have, this guy makes a small colony, and excuse me, but that ain't right.

I sat down to write this with a specific goal and I'm afraid I've veered so far off subject that I can't even begin to transition into what I wanted to say without posing something ridiculous in between to maybe divide this blog into two. (maybe a run-on sentence will do? No? Ok...)

Gross.

Anyway, on to my deep thoughts. One year ago my life was, well, lacking. I had no drive or purpose. No direction. Very little enthusiasm about anything other than drinking my life away. I had a pretty cool boyfriend (now my husband), but that was about it.

Now, though, I have a reason to keep going. Something to look forward to every day, new goals and exciting events that will span for the rest of my life, and that makes me really happy. That is all.

Midgets

My internet is down. Obviously, if you’re reading this, I got it back up, but as of press time I am unable to do any research for my own personal fulfillment. Basically, I’m saying that this blog will be posted with absolutely no research, therefore, my numbers may be a tad off.

Question at hand: Midgets make up what percentage of the World’s population?

Now, before I get into my own theories, let me explain that I am addicted to the internet. Mostly, for social networking and the occasional flash game, but really it’s the abundance of information at my fingertips that brings me to google and wikipedia daily. If I have a problem or a question of any kind, I’ll go to yahoo questions before I phone a friend.

From time to time, I need to know a semi-random fact. In this case, how many midgets there are for every 100 non-midgets. Personally, I’m not sure where I fall in, measuring in at just under 5 feet tall. I think that technically makes me a midget, but again, I’m without internets so I can’t say for sure.

I thought maybe 1%. No, that can’t be right. If you go to a concert with 3,000 people at it, you’re not going to see 30 midgets. Maybe the percentage is higher, though. If you’ve ever seen a certain Judy Garland film, you’ll notice that in the first scene in color there are hundreds of midgets and only three normal sized people, and one of those people is a dog, so I’m not sure that counts. But if you based your numbers on this certain scene, you’d think that non-midgets were the minority.

In my life, I’ve met two. I’ve met a lot of people, and only two of them are of such small stature. Wait, I’m remembering one that a childhood friend had living in her basement, so I guess my total is up to three. TLC would have you believe that the whole world, or at least the whole world of reality TV is made up of nothing but midgets. Shows like “Little People Big World” introduced most of us to the life of a small human, but really, how often do you actually see one?