Friday, May 20, 2011

Rapture Thoughts

If tomorrow is the end of the world, my daughter won't make it to her first birthday and this troubles me. If I am raptured tomorrow, I assume my daughter will come with me, which is more than we can say for my husband. Now, Heaven is supposed to be a pretty amazing place, right? You'll never go hungry and all your wildest dreams come true in the presence of God, or so I've heard. How can this be? I love my kid more than anything, but part of that is knowing that I'll get to watch her grow up. Does this mean I'm going to be stuck with an 11 month old for all of eternity? Because, that doesn't sound so appealing. Will I get to watch her grow up in Heaven? If this is true, then I must also age and that really doesn't sound like a lot of fun. I feel old enough as it is. But, if I do get older then eventually, I'd die or something, right? Or will Heaven be filled with nothing but raggedy old people in about 50 years? Then who will pay our Social Security? Are you able to have children in Heaven? Won't we get over-crowded? I'll miss my dogs a lot.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Top 10: Most Quoted Movies of all Time

(With help from my facebook friends)

10. Star Wars - While I have never seen any of the Star Wars movies, I could rattle off a few quotes if challenged. You can also find quotes from these movies in other movies like Tommy Boy and television shows like Family Guy. Star Wars is probably the most ripped-off movie of all time. Again, I’ve never seen it, but I’m pretty sure I know the whole story based on hearing bits of it here and there. May the (ever so nerdy) force be with you.

9. A Christmas Story - I thought (for years) that this movie was a special part of my upbringing, but turns out, it was a special part of almost everybody’s upbringing. I love this movie. I have seen it no less than 100 times and my family can not stop quoting it every year from about September to mid February.

9a. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation - If it isn’t A Christmas Story, it’s this one.

8. The Jerk - I feel like this movie should be further up the list than this, but maybe that is because I share a deep connection with this film. From “He hates these cans” to “That’s all I need,” Steve Martin wears this character so well it is impossible to look at a thermos the same way ever again.

7. This is Spinal Tap - (and it goes up to 11)

6. Office Space - At least three times in recent years, I have posted a status update on face book for the sole purpose of starting an Office Space Quote-off.

5. Forrest Gump - Face it. Whenever you get a box of chocolates, you want to say it. Plus, we all know when you see someone sprinting down a dirt road in leg braces, or a college player headed full speed for the end zone, you’re biting your tongue.

4. The Wizard of Oz - Okay, I know that’s old school and not something you sit around quoting with your friends. Fact is, this movie is such a part of childhood that it travels with you and you eventually find some way some how to throw in a “there‘s no place like home“ or “and your little dog, too!”

3. I’m giving the #3 spot to all those films with one quote that got completely out of hand.
3a. “I’ll be back”
3b. “Show me the money!”
3c. “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth.”
3d. “I’m king of the world!”

2. Airplane - Yes, I’m serious and no, don’t call me Shirley. One of the silliest movies of all time with excellent jokes that would land you in jail these days. “Bobby, have you ever seen a grown man naked?”

1. Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail - Don’t worry, it’s just a flesh would.

Honorable Mentions: There’s Something About Mary, The Big Lebowski, Idiocracy, Zoolander, Clerks, and Napoleon Dynamite.