Advertisements Gone Wild

I'm a fan of free stuff. Who isn't?

A few weeks ago, my dad came to visit and meet his new grand daughter. He didn't want to miss anything while he was here, so there was always a camera pointed at her (she's used to it). He would switch back and fourth between his still camera and his new handy little camcorder. Knowing that he was ungodly poor, I asked about the camcorder and learned that he had "won" it from marlboro.com.

Hm. They're killing him, but at least they're giving him free stuff!

Because I learned everything I know from my parents, I too smoke the Marlboro brand. Cowboy killers (good thing I'm not a cowboy). Delicious.

So, with my next pack, I took the promo code off the insert and went over to marlboro.com to get all my free stuff! My dad, so far, has gotten a Weber grill, a poker chip set, a deck of cards, a camcorder and a leather key chain. (All good things to have, especially if they're free)

I have an iron bottle opener headed my way. Its no camcorder, but it's a start.

While on marlboro.com, I saw an advertisement. It wasn't a "commercial" because cigarette companies are no longer allowed to advertise on TV or in magazines.

In this commercial (that I was unable to embed due to copyright issues) you see a group of executives sitting around a conference table. One of the guys leaves the table to go outside to have a delicious cigarette (he's not a cowboy either). While he is gone, the CEO comes in and tells the other employees about their "annual trip to the Bahamas," but that one of them must stay behind to "hold down the fort." Of course, the rest of the group volunteers the guy that is outside smoking revealing the moral of the story: Don't ever miss a moment, use Marlboro Snus instead of smoking cigarettes when you're at work. This commercial advertisement made me angry.

First of all, if you're about to start a meeting, you don't go take a smoke break. You would have taken this break a good 20 minutes before said meeting, allowing you time to get outside and back in with 10 minutes to spare. Second, you should be able to smoke at your conference table to begin with! Now, obviously, companies don't just send people to the Bahamas and even if they did, they wouldn't leave a fellow upper-management guy behind. They'd have middle management take care of it.

At the end of the commercial advertisement, you see the smoker outside of the office building enjoying his delicious cowboy-killing cigarette a comfortable 20 feet away from the entrance of the building. He takes in a long, beautiful drag and while he exhales he says "wow, the sun feels great."

Even though he has missed out on a meeting and has been denied a trip to the Bahamas, they still have to show that he is, in fact, enjoying that cigarette.

Queue the slogan "Never miss a thing" and the vocal equivalent of fine print: "this product may cause mouth cancer."

Yum.