Top 10: Most Quoted Movies of all Time

(With help from my facebook friends)

10. Star Wars - While I have never seen any of the Star Wars movies, I could rattle off a few quotes if challenged. You can also find quotes from these movies in other movies like Tommy Boy and television shows like Family Guy. Star Wars is probably the most ripped-off movie of all time. Again, I’ve never seen it, but I’m pretty sure I know the whole story based on hearing bits of it here and there. May the (ever so nerdy) force be with you.

9. A Christmas Story - I thought (for years) that this movie was a special part of my upbringing, but turns out, it was a special part of almost everybody’s upbringing. I love this movie. I have seen it no less than 100 times and my family can not stop quoting it every year from about September to mid February.

9a. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation - If it isn’t A Christmas Story, it’s this one.

8. The Jerk - I feel like this movie should be further up the list than this, but maybe that is because I share a deep connection with this film. From “He hates these cans” to “That’s all I need,” Steve Martin wears this character so well it is impossible to look at a thermos the same way ever again.

7. This is Spinal Tap - (and it goes up to 11)

6. Office Space - At least three times in recent years, I have posted a status update on face book for the sole purpose of starting an Office Space Quote-off.

5. Forrest Gump - Face it. Whenever you get a box of chocolates, you want to say it. Plus, we all know when you see someone sprinting down a dirt road in leg braces, or a college player headed full speed for the end zone, you’re biting your tongue.

4. The Wizard of Oz - Okay, I know that’s old school and not something you sit around quoting with your friends. Fact is, this movie is such a part of childhood that it travels with you and you eventually find some way some how to throw in a “there‘s no place like home“ or “and your little dog, too!”

3. I’m giving the #3 spot to all those films with one quote that got completely out of hand.
3a. “I’ll be back”
3b. “Show me the money!”
3c. “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth.”
3d. “I’m king of the world!”

2. Airplane - Yes, I’m serious and no, don’t call me Shirley. One of the silliest movies of all time with excellent jokes that would land you in jail these days. “Bobby, have you ever seen a grown man naked?”

1. Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail - Don’t worry, it’s just a flesh would.

Honorable Mentions: There’s Something About Mary, The Big Lebowski, Idiocracy, Zoolander, Clerks, and Napoleon Dynamite.

Captain Obvious!

I see funny things on the internet that aren't so obvious, I guess. Either that or I'm just good at noticing the little things. Or maybe, I just have a simple mind that thinks most things are silly. I'm a firm believer that humor can be found in just about anything. (anything but flying spiders - that's just frightening)

Facebook is now recommending things it thinks I will like because the internet is getting way too smart. A lot of these recommendations are based on other pages that I've "liked" and the suggestions look a little bit like this:

No shit? People that like NPR also have a sense of humor? I also got one that said "Tom Waits - Many who like Man Man like this." For those of you that don't know, Tom Waits is a musical genius drunk uncle and Man Man is a band that seemed to copy his songs verbatim and somehow make them a little more hipster-y. (That picture isn't as funny, as it requires a description)

Facebook is also really good at making me feel pretty worthless by reminding me that I have no friends in Jacksonville.

Facebook is trying to be a good friend here and recommend things I might like, and let me know just how many *potential* friends I could make in Jacksonville. Facebook isn't very good at calming me. Facebook is a bad friend.

But, there's always Google. Google and I have been good friends for a long time. When I have a question about something life-threatening, something of little interest, or even something that will help me win a bet, Google is there for me. Google even tries to fill in the rest of the search bar when I look for something just to keep me from having to type it out. For example, when wondering how my baby was developing when I was 23 weeks pregnant, all I had to type in was "23" and Google finished it with "weeks pregnant." Brilliant! Sometimes, though, Google is either (a) wrong or (b) assuming I'm a sadistic fuck that blacks out in fits of fatal rage.


One of those things is not like the other.

The internet, in general, is in control of a lot more than we think. Do I think computers will take over after somehow gaining artificial intelligence? No.

Well.

At least not in my lifetime, anyway.

Here's a fine example of how the internet was trying to throw the last Presidential election through subliminal messages:

Notice the date there. Just two weeks before the election. Tisk tisk, internet.

I've saved the best one for last. My personal favorite example of how targeting you internet advertising market isn't working.

Social Networking Fashion Trends

Recently I've found that "skinny jeans" are all the rage with young hipsters. The first time I saw a pair was at the Mall of Georgia about five years ago. I couldn't understand how this kid (a guy) could (a) find pants that small or (b) fit into them. I was positive this wouldn't catch on because it looks as completely ridiculous as these guys wearing their belts just above the knee.

Sadly, I was wrong and skinny jeans were flying off shelves everywhere. The Gap even found a way to use old pictures of Audry Hepburn to advertise them.


This advertisement proves two things:
(1) royalty rights will pay off forever
(2) Fashion trends are rarely "new" and tend to cycle through every 30 years or so.

That's why I'm refusing to delete my MySpace profile.

Hear me out.

Back in the 90s, bellbottoms came back into style. Why? Well, that's a question no one can answer seriously, but that's beside the point. When I was an easily influenced teenager in the 90s, I bought a pair of bellbottoms. (Don't hate) I thought I was cool in them. (stop hating)

Well, I thought I was cool in them until my friend Lisa showed up at school rocking her mom's old bellbottoms straight out of the 60s. Damn. I can't compare my lame ass Gap bellbottom jeans to these authentic jeans that still smelled like Woodstock. I was quite jealous of Lisa, who always found a way to bring the rarity of her jeans into every conversation around the lunch table for an entire semester. (bitch)

Anyway, I refuse to delete my MySpace profile for that reason. The same reason Lisa's mom didn't throw those jeans away. Will it make me cool later when people go back to the site and see that I've been a dedicated member since 2005? Will Tom notice I'm the only member left in three years and send me some of his cash for sticking with him all these years? Probably not. But at least I know there's a glimmer of hope for finally getting back at Lisa and feeling like I'm, for once, on top of the fashion game.