Captain Obvious!

I see funny things on the internet that aren't so obvious, I guess. Either that or I'm just good at noticing the little things. Or maybe, I just have a simple mind that thinks most things are silly. I'm a firm believer that humor can be found in just about anything. (anything but flying spiders - that's just frightening)

Facebook is now recommending things it thinks I will like because the internet is getting way too smart. A lot of these recommendations are based on other pages that I've "liked" and the suggestions look a little bit like this:

No shit? People that like NPR also have a sense of humor? I also got one that said "Tom Waits - Many who like Man Man like this." For those of you that don't know, Tom Waits is a musical genius drunk uncle and Man Man is a band that seemed to copy his songs verbatim and somehow make them a little more hipster-y. (That picture isn't as funny, as it requires a description)

Facebook is also really good at making me feel pretty worthless by reminding me that I have no friends in Jacksonville.

Facebook is trying to be a good friend here and recommend things I might like, and let me know just how many *potential* friends I could make in Jacksonville. Facebook isn't very good at calming me. Facebook is a bad friend.

But, there's always Google. Google and I have been good friends for a long time. When I have a question about something life-threatening, something of little interest, or even something that will help me win a bet, Google is there for me. Google even tries to fill in the rest of the search bar when I look for something just to keep me from having to type it out. For example, when wondering how my baby was developing when I was 23 weeks pregnant, all I had to type in was "23" and Google finished it with "weeks pregnant." Brilliant! Sometimes, though, Google is either (a) wrong or (b) assuming I'm a sadistic fuck that blacks out in fits of fatal rage.


One of those things is not like the other.

The internet, in general, is in control of a lot more than we think. Do I think computers will take over after somehow gaining artificial intelligence? No.

Well.

At least not in my lifetime, anyway.

Here's a fine example of how the internet was trying to throw the last Presidential election through subliminal messages:

Notice the date there. Just two weeks before the election. Tisk tisk, internet.

I've saved the best one for last. My personal favorite example of how targeting you internet advertising market isn't working.

Deep Thoughts (Without Jack Handy)

I miss that segment. Along with the good old days of SNL. Those two thoughts are unrelated to the post.

According to this cool app I have on my phone, I'm going to have a baby in 7 weeks and 2 days. Doctors agree that's about the right amount of time, though it could be more or less, but that's not important. Point is, my life is going to change.

No more jumping in the car to get coffee without packing a diaper bag. No more running into the gas station to buy overpriced cigarettes (people frown on leaving a baby in your car while you shop). No more staying out all night or random weekend trips because I feel like it. All small sacrifices for what people keep telling me will be "the best thing I'll ever do in my life."

Let's focus on that statement for just a second. Really? Is this the best thing I'll *ever* do in my life? Because that seems a bit extreme, doesn't it? I knew a girl in high school that had two kids before she finally dropped out. Is that the best thing she ever did? I know it's a big deal, and it will change everything I know about life for the better, but I hope I have a bit more to contribute to society than producing a mini-me. Then again, she could be the savior of the free world, and in that case, I guess they're right.

My daughter, Kennedy, has a pretty good chance at being somewhat successful amongst her peers. I mean, my husband and I look around the waiting room at the preggo doctor's office, and we're pretty sure we're doing everyone a favor by combating the abundance of idiocracy being bred ten fold. I had a conversation with a co-worker who's brother has (count them) FIFTEEN children running around the Jacksonville area, while he is being lovingly cared for in a New York rehabilitation institution where he's not allowed outside for the next 7 - 10 years. Apparently, for every one child I have, this guy makes a small colony, and excuse me, but that ain't right.

I sat down to write this with a specific goal and I'm afraid I've veered so far off subject that I can't even begin to transition into what I wanted to say without posing something ridiculous in between to maybe divide this blog into two. (maybe a run-on sentence will do? No? Ok...)

Gross.

Anyway, on to my deep thoughts. One year ago my life was, well, lacking. I had no drive or purpose. No direction. Very little enthusiasm about anything other than drinking my life away. I had a pretty cool boyfriend (now my husband), but that was about it.

Now, though, I have a reason to keep going. Something to look forward to every day, new goals and exciting events that will span for the rest of my life, and that makes me really happy. That is all.